10 SIMPLE TRICKS TO SAVE YOUR FAILING MARRIAGE - Dr Kamal Khurana Marriage Counselling
Updated: Jul 8, 2020
You must have heard the saying that ‘marriages are made in heaven’. While that may be true, marriages perhaps are predestined and decided in heaven, but we have to make them work here on earth.
It could be days, months or even years after marriage that it seems like everything is falling
apart. Sometimes, we start fighting with our partners. Their little habits start annoying us. They also do the same. They don’t show as much care and concern as they used to. They don’t show the love and tenderness that was there in the beginning. You both begin to resent each other’s presence. These are all signs that your marriage is falling apart and failing.
If this is the case, you need to take immediate steps to save your marriage before it is too late - and this time, permanently.
Here are 10 simple tips and tricks that show immediate results and can save a failing marriage:
1. Vulnerability: True intimacy is possible only through the exposure of weak spots. Being
completely honest about who you are takes a lot of effort because you are exposing your
deepest fears but it is that honesty that draws people to you. Your partner will appreciate
it and it will also arouse their protective instincts towards you.
2. Authenticity: Human beings ache for the real. Fictional and fake facades are only
temporary; people see through them in some time. Real authenticity lasts for a lifetime.
Authenticity can be wildly sexy because it is offering of the real you. Make sure you
show your partner the real you - including all the hurts and the happiness.
3. Radical Acceptance: Trying to be someone that you’re not is exhausting. Ultimately, we
all want to be accepted for who we really are. So, if you want your partner to love you
again, accept them for who they are, along with all their positive and negative traits.
4. Connection To The Heart: A person’s true power lies neither in the brain nor in the body
- it lies in the heart. The brain tries to logically analyse the other person, to solve their
problems, to provide for them. These are all mechanical functions. The body satiates
needs and cravings. It is only the love radiating from an illogical heart that can cherish
the other person in their entirety.
5. Don’t Criticise, Don’t Walk Away: Don’t find faults in your partner constantly, instead
appreciate their positives. And when it is hard to do that, don’t walk away. Your partner
needs to trust that you will be there for them, that you will not abandon them the moment
things start going wrong.
6. Patience: Every individual is different. Some people open up in minutes, others take
days or months. Show patience, respect their wishes and watch them open their heart to
you again in the due course of time.
7. Give Love: What people find most attractive and hard to resist is the abundance of love.
So, if you give your partner love, love and more love, even when they have done
something unlovable, they will be unable to stop themselves from responding to you with
love. This magic trick works better than anything else.
8. View Your Partner As Unique: Just like every human on earth has a distinct fingerprint,
similarly every human on earth has a distinct personality. Understand that there is no
one in the world like your partner. Love their uniqueness, their quirks, their individuality.
Never make the mistake of comparing them with someone else. And once you start
appreciating all their little traits, they won’t be able to stop themselves from falling in love
9. Be Graceful, Not Submissive: Just because you are doing everything possible to make
your marriage work, it does not mean you forget your own dignity. If you are submissive,
your partner will fall in love with you, but when you go back to being normal, they will fall
out of love with you again. So remember to give love with grace and dignity to make it
10. Don’t Lose Hope: At times it may feel like you are failing, that your marriage is not
getting repaired, that things have gone too far. But remember that love works and works
certainly. So don’t lose hope, just continue to envelop your partner with your strongest
force and love - sooner or later they will return your love.
Saving your marriage is not as tough as you think it is. Try these 10 simple steps and watch the
amazing results. Just remember to #GiveLove and you’ll be certain to get love in return.