• Kamal Khurana

GAINING YOUR PARTNER'S TRUST

Updated: Dec 24, 2020

GAINING YOUR PARTNER’S TRUST BACK



1. REMEMEBER STAGES OF HEALING




Now you know that there are stages to healing, you need to come in acceptance that your partner will take time to heal and go back and forth from different stages.


The core part of your work includes helping your partner knows what he/she means to you, Now even more, because you now know that he/she has gone through so much.


You have to be very objective in your communication during this period and also in future. You have to tell him/her that just one goal now that you will love him/her the way he/she wants


And when you have acceptance of her stages, and support him/her to express all the suppressed anger, he/ she will be able to heal up


2. RULES OF PROBLEM SOLVING



You have learnt the Relationship Square Method - That's the technique





3. MENTION ABOUT YOUR COACHING

You have to tell him/her that you are taking coaching sessions and it has helped you realize your part and also you are learning so many things




4. BE ON YOUR STAND

You have to maintain your stand and slowly keep on creeping in him/her mind and plant these following statements -


· I am sorry


· I have learnt that i didn't know what a woman/ man is


· I have been working on myself so much with my coach, watching videos, reading blogs


· I will always take care of you


· I will be sensitive to your emotions


· I will stand by you


· I will respect you and your individuality


· I don't want to possess you but I have only one goal to take care of you


· I never knew what a woman wants, how she thinks , all he/she needs is support understanding and affection


Throughout you need to keep mentioning the following to him/her that you have realized all the above.


5. NEVER GIVE ANY LECTURE & NEVER USE ‘WE’ – SAY ‘I’


Also throughout the discussion you don't have to use the word ‘we’. The moment you use the word we, it will appear as a lecture to him/her. Moreover she will think that you are putting blame on him/her also. He/she wants to see that it’s you have realized and you are taking responsibility for the good.


It’s about you and you efforts only.


It's all about the stand that you take that will bring gradual change and turn everything around.



6. HANDLE / MANAGE HIS/HER HARD REACTIONS

He/She will use all the harsh words to blame you and take out all the anger on you. Her statements will appear baseless to your mind. And you don’t have to fall in that trap. Logically your mind will find some statements untrue and incorrect. And this will create a strong urge in you to correct his/her and this will waste all the good work. Her subconscious wants to see the changed you. And in that pursuit his/her mind will try to test you by putting you in challenging situations and see how you react. The moment you get in the trap of reacting to his/her harsh statements, his/her mind will get the evidence that you can never change. In such a situation you need to remember she is wanting to test you.


It is about your consistency.



7. FOUR RULES OF LOVE


· LOVE IS AN ONGOING ACTION – AN ATTITUDE


· OWN THE OTHER’S EMOTIONS WITHOUT THINKIKG WHAT’S RIGHT & WRONG


· LOVE IS ABOUT GIVING


· LOVE THE OTHER THE WAY THE OTHER WANTS WITHIN YOUR CAPACITY





8. BE COURAGEOUS


You need to listen what he/she is wanting to say, you need to do what he/she needs. See behind his/her unmet needs behind anger. You will have to see his/her unmet needs even when your mind will be logically thinking about the constraints.

That is the difference you need to cover. It's like a river. You are on one bank, he/she on the other. Cross it.



9. SEE IT ALL POSITIVE TO CREATE POSITIVE


If you see the positive, you will actually find that It's all super positive.


You don't have to convince him/her that you both can make it.


You have to say that you have now have a learning what a Man/Woman wants,

You are a realization that how you had unknowingly left him/her behind


These are his/her needs that you have realised



10. REMEMBER HE/SHE IS YOURS


See he/she is yours and you need to help him/her know that you have realised, without expecting overnight change from him/her. He/She is going through so much now, because he/she will get confused how is it possible that you can get transformed. He/She is melting everyday


He/She is coming from pain to disbelief and further he/she will come in Faith and finally support.



11. BE CREATIVE


You need to do anything and everything to let him/her know that you care. Your genuine attempts is what exactly he/she needs to look forward to.



Good luck

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