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HAPPINESS COURSE PART 1 ORIENTATION
DEALING WITH BREAK-UP PART 1
UNDERSTANDING IT CORRECTLY
frequent
questions
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What is coaching ?If you feel that there is more to life than what you are presently living, If you lack a sense of direction or a sense of purpose in your relationship, If you lack a plan to achieve what you want to, If you feel you are not able to cherish your relationship, or If you are stressed about what to do and there are some barriers in your mind that are stopping you from living life your way, then Coaching can make it happen for you. A coach helps you build confidence, overcome roadblocks, discover ways to achieve goals by helping you gain clarity and device a strategy. The basic premise of coaching is that everyone has the capability to achieve anything. Everyone can create their own reality. This is done by identifying, managing and altering self limiting beliefs and taking transformative action steps. Instead of dwelling on past(while not denying it), coaching focusses on what's here and now and what needs to be created. A coach uses a goal oriented approach to help the client design steps and strategy to create positive and lasting changes in his/her life. The coach facilitates the change by using tools and techniques to empower you and provides an environment of care, sensitivity and support.
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What is the process of coaching that you follow ?Change is a gradual process surely. Yet we have designed our process keeping in mind the fast pace life of today's time. We have 3 Step Coaching Process Step 1: Find out the Root Cause & the Goal you want to work upon In the first session you get a space where you are able to clearly define your relationship goal. A step by step process helps you find out the exact root cause that needs to be worked upon to achive the goal that you define and also you learn how to bring the desired change in your relationship. You get the exact tools & techniques with practical steps that you can implement. You get a comfortable space to think of ways to implement the steps in your daily life. A well decribed action strategy helps you clearly see the way forward. Step 2: Working the action plan. After the session, your active role starts where you take your steps on the personalized action plan. Your daily steps start bringing subtle changes in the dynamics of the challenge that you are currently facing in your relationship. Your coach will review your progress during your next coaching session. Step 3: Folllow up Coaching Sessions With following coaching sessions you go on developing the needed skills to accomplish your specific relationship goal. Below is the Session wise process 1. First Session - Clarifying Goals The first session is aimed at helping you identify & clarify the hurdles own personal goals as you have mentioned in your action plan. We achieve this by working on a range of questions and exercises around the specific area of your life that you want to coach upon. You get a chance to see the possibilities and the route that can help you accomplish the goal that you want to accomplish. The outcome is that you get a sense of composure, confidence and clarity thereby great relief. Since it's the first session, it generally lasts for 60 min to 90 mins for individuals. If your partner is also participating in the session, then the same time is needed separately for him or her as well. 2. Second Session - Taking Steps Forward This session happens after a few days of gap, preferebly in the same week. In this session, you get a chance to identify down the tasks that you have accomplished and that will enable you to move forward. We provide a space where you devise tasks and exercises needed to reach your goals. You are also making yourself accountable in this phase. Only measurable steps can help track your efforts. Even this session generally lasts for half an hour min to 60 mins. 3. Third Session - Overcoming Roadblocks This session happens with a gap of a few days depending on the case. As you move forward there will be a success and also some challenges. We help you identify roadblocks and hurdles that block your way. You get a chance to devise and adopt different strategies to manage the roadblocks. In the middle of challenges, we respect your need to maintain motivation, manage change, and celebrate achievement end. The third session may run for for half an hour min to 60 mins The number of further follow-up sessions depends on the progress and need of people. Some people pick up well while many opt for more sessions for handholding and follow through. Follow up sessions are generally shorter i.e. between 30 mins - 60 mins
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How are you different from others ?We believe no coach or therapist or counsellor wouldn't wish your good. Everyone would want to see you happy and living a complete life and the way you want to. Yet besides wishful thinking, the right strategy, integrative approach, and systematic process can create the success you aspire. In good times everything goes good. But it is the tough times that are a challenge. You need to have the skills to manage yourself and your challenging situation. We have had over a decade and half of experience with people, with their communication styles, their meaning-making systems and their basic needs. It has helped us create a highly effective yet very simple process that can help accept your own self in a way that you become capable of achieving whatever you wish to. While understanding your own capability and limitations you will get a chance to become authentic to your own self. Do you get a chance to discover who you are? What is important to you? What gets in your way? Where you want to go? How you would feel if your life were just exactly the way you wanted it to be? And most importantly you draw your own path for achieving what you want to achieve.
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Do we need to commit to a certain number of sessions?It has to do with your own ability to understand and create the change. Accepting one's ownself and being authentic is like a knack which one develops suddenly. Obviously if you take coaching it becomes a little easier and quicker. Just like riding a bicycle or playing a flute. It calls for two qualitative components i.e. your own commitment to your success and the coach's ability to help you get there. Imagine yourself learning swimming. Now if your coach helps you believe that you can swim and swimming is not any rocket science, helps you with few basics and also follows through, wouldn't it be easy and quick to learn ? If you are comitted to learn, we know that with our process you can get there very quickly. Although nobody can guarantee the specific time that you would need, yet with our experience by the end of the first session you would know your steps very clearly. By the second session you would be able to create some transition within your owwnself (with regards to the situation). This transition builds up a strong belief in you that you can bring the change outside as well. By the third session you would be taking steps and witness a change in the sitution that you are in. And then you can decide your own pace and commitment to continue for further sessions. With us you will not find any pressure in any form to continue. Since you have to see the value in the process and you have all the right to do what's best for yourself. In fact you may stop at any stage if you wish. From our end, as soon as you reach success, we prepare you for a closure. In general, we have observed that people go for about 3 - 7 sessions as per their need. The initial session take about 60 mins to 90 mins. The subsequent sessions run for about 30 to 60 mins on an average. Yet it is all relative to individual needs, capability and pace.
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What is the difference between relationship coaching and marriage counseling ?Unlike marriage counselling, in relationship coaching, more than resolving the conflict, we work on your individual goals for your relationship. Relationship is all about your ability to relate with your partner. We do not dwell much on the past reasons (while brielfy taking the understanding of the past), because we want to focus on what's happening in the present and what future do you want to create from here and now. Coaching helps in developing the ability to relate and as an outcome there exists no room for conflicts. Marriage counselling is a different stream which has it's own advantages and requirements such as willingness of the other, long course of therapeutic intervention etc. Coaching focuses on present and discovering the actions steps required in the present. We do not deny the past but at the same time understand the patterns that need to be worked upon, such that you can create the future that you aspire. At the end of the day what matters is what do you want now. And to get what you want, you need to learn the dyanmics of love, respect, friendship, appreciation and growth. And the first one whom you need to learn to love, respect and appreciate is you yourself. That's when you can love the other and that too without any pressure. Your work also includes understaing the other with his/her capailities and limitations.
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What can I do if my partner doesn’t want to be coached ?Do not worry. You are not an exception. Sharing personal stuff with a stranger or a third party is not easy for most people. In general people have a bias that "How can a third person solve issues between us ?". Another bias is that people consider seeking advice from someone else as a sign of failure. Such thoughts are quite common. Unfortunately, most of us in our growing years have learned to suppress our feelings. And this is also a form of a survival mechanism. Beyond all this. the fact still remains that, we can coach only those who want to be coached. Results come to those, who have the needed commitment to create them. Our aim is to coach you to take control over your life and your attitude. And then success will start reflecting in your relationship. This can happen when you commit to goals of your own life and your relationship. And then you can discover your action steps towards for accomplishing those goals. Even if your partner is not interested in relationship coaching, when with your actions, your partner will start noticing the positive changes in you. And then there is a great chance that he / she may want to coached. Also, even if he / she doesn't, you will learn ways to cater to your partner's needs(that are within your capability) and present your needs in a way that your partner finds comfortable responding to them.
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Do we need to meet in person or is it online ?With our experience of past decade and a half, we believe that in today's fast paced life, fetching time to drive down to a coach and matching your availabilty and coach's availibility becomes a challenge. So we coach online, preferably through a video conferencing tool like zoom or any other. It provides an opportunity for you and the coach to address the need in a much convienient way. While it is online, we assure 100% confidentiality and 100% commitment from our end. We adhere to our process with utmost seriosness & commitment.
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